Mostly not false bravado (too rad for grad school)

21 Feb

I drew this for my friend Malcolm, based on our ongoing conversations around graduate school (rejections and reservations). Part of the sentiment of this drawing is based in legitimate critiques of even wanting to pursue a PhD, but also for me it’s a part of an emotional process of recognizing that getting a PhD is not the be-all end-all of my own intellectual abilities, that I can think and write and even publish outside of the academy. There is almost like a 5 stages of grief thing happening in my sketchbook. It’s funny to think that I have a hard time with the idea of creating without the validation of an institution, since so much of my work with zines hinges on it.

Oh panopticonic admissions departments utilizing google to stalk potential students, please still let me in your ivory tower! I will thanklessly grade your papers and teach your students, read hundreds of pages a day and write essays to be published in obscure academic journals. Because I love you, academia, even if you reject me. Even if you eat me alive.

This is getting grossly and uncomfortably personal, even for someone who draws dildos on the covers of their zines. In other news, you may have noticed that I have changed the theme of this blog and I hope you are not disgusted (speak now or forever hold your peace, silent blog readers).

Also, I am speaking this Thursday at Red Emma’s in Baltimore on the “the history, present, and potential of queer zines” and on similar topics at the Wingnut Anarchist Collective in Richmond on March 12th, unless I decide to talk about something else. On March 26th, Jami Sailor and I will be facilitating a panel called “Archiving the Underground: A Conversation on Zines in Academia” at the Chicago Zine Fest.

See academia? I don’t need you to talk nerdy for free.

❤ j (not resentful) bee

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One Response to “Mostly not false bravado (too rad for grad school)”

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  1. post-grad pressures & disposable students « communalproperty - February 22, 2011

    […] of Sassyfrass Circus offers a great/conflicted/confessional/humorous rant that explores the pressures to pursue graduate […]

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